There were 3 in the bed and the little one said...

I'm confused.

We are dealing with some sleep issues. I'm not even sure they we be called issues if we were living in a different time or country.
Charlie wants to sleep on my chest all the time, she wont sleep in the cot. And wakes up and cries every time I try to put her in. Can I blame her? Not really, she's spent the last nine months inside me. Doesn't it make sense she happiest when she's with me, instead of in a big cold cot.

I hate the amount of pressure mothers go though to be perfect. Is it just me?  I'll be honest I'm terrified, terrified of stuffing up. Dummies, co-sleeping, rocking to sleep, routines and baby-wearing? 
When did raising children become so complicated? When did we stop doing what feels right?
The bar for motherhood is so high these days. There is more pressure on parenting than ever before and if you're not careful, it can strip some of the pure joy out of parenting. I know I'll make mistakes, I've made plenty with Harper but I don't want to. I know its unrealistic, that I can't be perfect. But the world we are living in today expects it. And lets be realistic most of us want the best for our children. We want it all and finding the balance...  well its hard.

So now I'm faced with the question of co-sleeping, I'm not against co-sleeping. At all. I love the idea of a little warm body cuddled up to me, waking up to a smily face. Its more a fear of a tiny newborn in the bed with me, the idea something could happen while I have her in the bed has me up all night trying to resettle her in the cot. And it's driving us both insane.

It wasn't like this the first time around, Harper took to the cot straight away, we didn't have these problems. They say each child is different and the last three weeks have show me just how much.

Fast forward 2 weeks.

Today Charlie is 5 weeks, we have been co-sleeping the last couple of weeks. It is so much better, she has started sleeping for 3 hour blocks and the last couple of nights has even done one 5 hour block. We are getting more confident having with her in bed with us.
I'm so glad I decided to give up on getting her to sleep in the cot. I'm still working on getting her to have day sleeps in the cot (Instead of me holing her) but if she doesn't want to we cope. I'm trying to give her what she needs, without worrying about forming future bad habits and I'm deffintly trying to worry less about what other people think is the right thing and going with whats right for us.


  1. Oh she is getting so big! Good luck with the sleeping thing! Just remember YOU are mom and can do things whatever way you see fit. If you want sleeping habits done a certain way, you gotta stick to it and dont create habits you dont want.

    But having that being said, you do things at your own pace too and what YOU feel comfortable with. Dont mind what others say. Nothing wrong with weening off of co-sleeping. some co-sleep for a really long time. your decision mama :)

  2. good on you! Isobel was similar when she was young, she would only nap on me. I wish I had known about some of the baby carriers you could buy back then as I would have just worn her while I went about my duties...instead I stressed about trying to get her to sleep in her cot & that was more tiresome than just sitting on the couch with a delicious warm baby on my chest. I'm a bit of a believer that you can't create "bad" habits with a newborn. It's natural for them to want to be close to you & they'll soon grow out of it & want their own space. You'll then be trying to get affection from them & they won't want a bar of it. Enjoy this small window while it lasts. She is beautiful by the way...you make great looking kids!

  3. it is crazy how much the sleeping things stresses parents out... i remember being absolutely freaked out that natalie went through this loooooong period where she would only sleep in her swing. i actually had these nightmare visions of her never being able to sleep on her own, and i thought i was the worst parent ever.

    in retrospect, we did what worked and i would do it again in a heartbeat. do what gets you through the night! i remember my mom once suggesting a tip for transitioning a newborn from warm snuggly mama to cold bed--put a hot water bottle under the sheet for a little while before switching her over, and it might not be such an uncomfortable shock for her little body. if, of course, you ever tire of the co-sleeping. :)

  4. good for you! mums should do what they feel is right for their babies. she is lovely and she looks so happy to be asleep on you.

    have you tried a moses basket? they arent as big and open as a cot. you never know it might work.

    i couldnt do co-sleeping i'll be too scared of rolling onto the baby. plus i fidget way to much at night.

  5. You're amazing. I love that you wrote this, because more people need to remember that we need to make decisions as parents that are right for our family, and not everyone will agree with those decisions, and THAT'S OK! Good for you for doing what feels right for you. Enjoy all the yummy newborn-ness and don't worry about the rest! Happy sleeping :)

  6. No one has the right to tell you how to parent.
    You do what's best for YOU and YOUR BABY!

    I co-slept with my oldest for years and on occasion he still sneaks in to cuddle with me.
    My daughter, was NOT a co-sleeper. I tried but she just cried ALL night. I finally put her in a different room and she slept all night.
    My youngest is only a co-sleeper if he is sick. If he's sick he wants to cuddle and sleep with me. If hes healthy he just wants to play. lol

    You are a great mother. No need to worry about what people say!

  7. Awesome post! I feel the same exact way...there are so many "rules"...so many people judging. No matter what you do, it's wrong to someone. And what's worse it as a mom, you get sucked into the judging and you start doing it to other people who parent different than you! It's a vicious vicious cycle...Keep up the good work momma, you are doing just fine! And for the record, we had NO intentions of co sleeping with Ellie...but she, like Charlie, REFUSED to sleep if she was not on top of me. It stressed me out so much, not ever being able to put her down...but we survived...Good luck hon, and get some well needed rest!
    ♥ Kyna

  8. Our Mason is 11 weeks and this is the longest we've co-slept with any of our 4 boys. I sometimes wonder if we'll ever be able to get him to sleep in his crib?!? Putting him down during the day is a tricky situation and I have to do lot's of tricking, swaddling and setting him down oh so very gently! Our most needy baby yet :) but he's so sweet! Your Charlie is just a mama's girl :)

  9. Don't worry about ANYONE else's opinion ~ it's your choice! I get so tired of people telling me how to parent MY children. Anyhow, we co-sleep, we still co-sleep with our two year old and now our 1 month old also. I never dreamed I would, but that's the way it is. As you say, of COURSE your baby wants to sleep with you; she feels safe and secure and able to sleep because she's with her Momma, her favourite person in the world, the one she trusts most! She depends on you to fulfil her need (to be close to you); and that's the healthiest thing in the world for a baby in my opinion. If you're breastfeeding (bfing mothers have been shown to be more in tune with baby's movements in bed and more aware of where they are even when asleep) and you're not taking drugs/alcohol then there's no reason not to co-sleep. We love it, my boys are both happy....and I get more sleep ;)